The fear is real

I had my first one-night stand on New Year’s Eve 2019, and something really strange happened.

I used to be very wary about one-night stands. I had several opportunities during my 20s, as most people on this planet probably did, but I always turned it down and made it home by myself, somehow, no matter if I had had too much to drink.

At the time I used to think it had to do with the fact that didn’t like myself enough to think anyone else could like me, as well, and since I think this is one of the most intimate and vulnerable situations you can put yourself in, I didn’t want to open that door to all the self-deprecation and mindfuckery that would come afterward.

But time passed, and now my relationship with myself is healed. I am now convinced that situations like one-night stands are not always ignited by men to take advantage of women (which was my go-to thought before), but that they can also be incited by empowered women who just want to have a little fun.

Image by Kurious

That door of opportunity opened again on New Year’s Eve. I was a little tipsy, but I ran with it, because it was clear in my mind that all I wanted was sex. I liked the idea of closing 2019 doing something that I had chosen to do, freely, and that made me feel empowered.

So, we’re in the heat of it, and Mr. NYE tries to bypass the condom.

I protest.

He says he’s clean, he takes tests, he is as fit as a fiddle, please trust him.

I say I don’t trust him.

He says, I get it, you don’t know me.

And then I look at him straight in the eye and say, “Nah, dude. Thing is, I do not EVER want to have children, so there is no way I’ll risk getting pregnant. You either use it, or I go home.”

Up until this moment, it doesn’t sound strange, right? Normal childfree woman reaction.

But the thing is, I’m sterilized!

I got my tubes tied earlier in 2019, and there is a tiny, almost-zero chance that I could get pregnant!

I wouldn’t have done it without a condom, anyway, because you really can’t trust a man you just met about his sexual health, but man. The pregnancy fear is real!

*Featured image by Sasint

Isabel Firecracker is the founder and firebrand of The Uprising Spark, a platform designed to help modern, childfree women define and reach their life goals. She is a world traveler, an avid kitesurfer, and loves dogs. Pragmatic, no-nonsense life coach and host of The Honest Uproar podcast. Childfree intersectional feminist.

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