Nobody should have to experience the feeling that comes with having to live a life that has not been chosen by you.

If you’re a woman, you might have felt that you don’t have the “right” to ask for anything beyond what will allow you to occupy your rightful place in society:

Have the perfect body and never have a hair out of place; don’t ever voice your opinions about anything; get married to a strong (and often chauvinist), but capable, financial provider; be a doting wife; bear children and make your life 100% about them; let your husband/partner make all the important decisions; and so on, and so forth.

To add insult to injury, women who try to break out of this pattern are labeled in any number of ways:

• If you are looking for a suitable partner, so you’re dating around and don’t want to settle, just yet, you are called a slut.

• If you are career-focused, highly driven and ambitious, you are called abrasive, bossy, and irrational.

• If you want to work in a traditionally male-dominated industry or occupy a traditionally male role, you are asked, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

Many women resign themselves to live with what society and life ask of them and don’t go chasing after what really makes them passionate.

So, life just happens to them, because they are making everyone else happy BUT themselves.

Do you know how dangerous it is for your overall health, especially your mental health, to settle? To let life pass you by?

If I hadn’t found a way to put myself first in my life, to connect with myself and love myself in a healthy way, this is the life I would have right now:

1. I would be married to an emotionally abusive man that I do not love (or never did for that matter). Also, he’s a chauvinist, but that’s a story for another day.

2. I would have given birth to AT LEAST one child, which would be frustrating for me because I am 100% convinced I do not want to bring children into this world.

3. I would probably not have a career and would be confined to tend to our home as a (desperate) housewife.

But most importantly,

4. I would not be chasing my dream of traveling the world and coaching women like me to make life-changing decisions to live a happy and fulfilled life.

Now, I am not saying that being married, having children, and being a housewife is a bad thing. If you choose to do it because that is what MAKES YOU HAPPY, then I stand by you! That was just not the life for me.

How about you, Firecracker? Are you living the life you want?

Isabel Firecracker is the founder and firebrand of The Uprising Spark, a platform designed to help modern, childfree women define and reach their life goals. She is a world traveler, an avid kitesurfer, and loves dogs. Pragmatic, no-nonsense life purpose igniter and host of The Honest Uproar podcast. Childfree intersectional feminist.

*Featured image from Pixabay