If you have a feeling that motherhood isn’t for you, listen to it. Explore it!
And check out my new show Childfreeness with LeNora Faye, a lighthearted, snack-able series that shares insights into choosing to not have kids.
Episode one: Being childfree in your 20s isn’t easy when no one takes your choice seriously. Fortunately, I realized I’m actually 37 and am discovering how to voice my decision to remain childfree in a way that brings positive awareness to the lifestyle. I also talk about dealing with social media trolls and encouraging everyone to start a childfree blog.
Below is the transcription from episode 1-The Childfree Lifestyle. For those who prefer to read. But the videos are fun!
It’s hard when you’re 20 years old and you feel strongly that parenthood isn’t for you. And yes, you don’t have anything figured out at 20 but you just know that ‘I’m not going to pursue relationships with the intention of finding a father or a mother for my child’, right?
I would have loved to have had this conversation when I was young, you know, with somebody who didn’t want to have kids and chose not to.
Can we teach this in schools? Sign me up!
I’m available. I’ll travel everywhere. I mean, when the borders reopen. I’m available on Zoom.
I’m not here to tell people not to have kids. If you want them, have them. Think about it first, but have them.
There are enough parenting things out there for people but there’s not a ton of content for childfree people. And one childfree account is not a one-size-fits-all.
There are people who don’t resonate with my message and how I live my life, even though they are childfree. Just as I am not for everybody and that’s cool. I am for some people so I’m trying to reach as many “some peoples” as I can.
Should I talk about how I blocked this lady from church (when I used to go to church)? For two years, she’ been leaving these passive-aggressive comments on my social media and sending me DMs saying:
“You shouldn’t be talking about being childfree and happy.”
I think it’s funny when people say:
“I can’t wait for your generation to die out because then my child is not going to have to grow up listening to this bullshit of being childfree.”
Well, I hate to tell you this but the childfree community spans many generations and it’s not going anywhere. We are more vocal than ever and ten years from now this is going to be normal.
I’m not saying that it’s going to stop people from having kids because if you look at any celebrity news magazine, every celebrity is giving birth right now.
I have great hopes for the childhood future, not just for mine but for other people. Anyone my age or younger, I think this is a great time to explore. I mean if you think about it, we’re living like the most bizarre time ever.
There’s a pandemic happening!
Anyone who wants to start a blog or is thinking about starting a blog and you have no audience and you really don’t know what to say, just start writing. That’s how I was a couple of years ago. It takes a while to find your voice and to say the things you want to say in a manner that suits you best.
Honestly, I am nowhere near where I want to be in being able to voice how I feel and being able to voice my hope and even just sharing my stories. When I’m 50, I want to be totally kick-ass at expressing my childfree self.
Seriously, I’m excited about 50. I’ve got 13 years until I’m 50.
No, wait, OMG. 13 years until I’m 50 years old???
Oh well, look at JLo. She looks amazing. I have to stop eating sugar.
Wow, there’s nothing like finding out how old you really are. I don’t feel my age and that’s okay. Whatever.
It’s important to remember that this is your life and you know not everyone’s going to agree with how you live.
You could have all of the kids that you could possibly have to satisfy society’s expectation of you, but if your happiness isn’t there, what’s the point?
LeNora Faye is founder of The Bitchy Bookkeeper: a childfree lifestyle brand. She is also creator of Childfree Journals and 1/3 of the founding non-mothers of Childfree Girls.